Woody Allen

Woody Allen

A three-time Academy Award-winning American film writer and director, actor, jazz musician, fiction writer and essayist, comedian, and playwright, Woody Allen is the quintessential auteur, serving as director, screenwriter and star of most of his films.  His large body of work, which mixes humor, wit, and cerebral satire, has made him one of the most prolific filmmakers in the modern era.  Allen is also a passionate fan and player of jazz, which is often featured prominently in his movies’ soundtracks. He has played the clarinet since adolescence and chose his stage name from an idol, famed clarinetist Woody Herman. He has performed publicly at least since the late-1960s, most notably with the Preservation Hall Jazz Band and then with his own ensemble.

Woody Allen – Allen is his given first name and Woody after the great jazz clarinetist, Woody Herman – had the good fortune to be raised in New York City by loving Jewish parents who were proactive in their parenting approach. Allen honors them by sharing two examples from his life of their leadership and parental wisdom:

“When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.”

His parents felt it was important to expose him to other faiths so in summers he was sent to inter-faith summer camps, where he “was savagely beaten by children of all races and creeds.”

– Woody Allen (1935- ) Allen Stewart Königsberg

“As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree, probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.”

“Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily as lying down.”

“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”

“I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.”

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

“Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.”

“I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.”

“I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.

“I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.”

“I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.”

“Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought – particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.”

“Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.”

“Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.”

“Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.”

Woody Allen

A New Age Expulsion…

“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysical exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.”

 – Woody Allen (1935- )

“It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.”

“Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.”

“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”

– Woody Allen  (1935- )

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